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We can all do with a bit of a laugh sometimes, thanks for sending in these answers - and Questions:
Q: Do mangos come from Mangolia? -- Adam Waldron Wapping London UK 7th Nov 2007
Q: Do we still have civil engineers? What do they do?
A: I have rarely met a civil engineer, most of the ones I have met were rude, boorish and dragged their nuckles on the ground -- Richard Krakow
Q: Stinky Sink! I am single and do not know how to get rid of that terrible stink in the sink. -- Help! "L Van Gelder"
A: 15 Stinking Sink Solutions: A friend of mine Tom also has the same problem:
The 15 solutions we came up with to resolve his stinking sink problem were as follows:
1. STOP USING THE SINK AS A URINAL.
2. HAVE THE PLUMBER DISCONNECT THE TOILET BOWL FROM THE SINK SEWER LINE, LET THE WASTE RUN ON THE FLOOR, THIS WAY THE REST OF THE HOUSE WILL SMELL LIKE THE STINKY SINK AND YOU WONT NOTICE IT AS MUCH!
3. TAKE THE DRAIN STOP OUT AND PLACE A FRAGRANCE CANDLE IN THE DRAIN!
4. TRY BRUSHING YOUR TEETH MORE THEN ONCE A WEEK.
5. STOP CLEANING YOUR GOLF BALLS AND SOAKING YOUR SOCKS IN THE SINK.
6. STOP POURING YOUR HOMEMADE SOUP INTO THE SINK.
7. TRY SHAVING USING THE KITCHEN SINK TO SEE IF YOU GET THE SAME SMELL!
8. TRY NOT LET THE WASTE WATER FROM BEHIND YOUR EARS GO DOWN THE SINK, USE PAPER TOWELS.
9. THOSE MICE YOU CAPTURE IN YOUR BEDROOM, (From Bob and Bobs Condo) SHOULD GO OUT WITH THE REGULAR GARBAGE NOT THE WASHED DOWN THE SINK!
10. TRY BUYING THE 90% LEAN BEEF FOR NOW ON!
11. STOP USING THE CHEAPEST COLOGNE, OR ON SALE COLOGNES.
12. THE JUICE OOZING FROM THE OUTSIDE GARBAGE CANS, SHOULD NOT BE COLLECTED AND USED FOR CLEANING THE BATHROOM SINK, TRY SPENDING SOME MONEY ON BLEACH!
13. CUT OUT THE PRUNE JUICE AND DRIED PRUNES FOR A WHILE!
14. START FOLLOWING THE DIRECTIONS ON THE XLAX AND METAMUCIL!
15. A PROVEN SOLUTION TO GET RID OF THE SMELL, MUST MAKE A 2 LITTER BATCH:
2 Litter Bottle of 100% PROOF Vodka.
20 Fresh Squeezed LIME JUICE.
1/2 Litter of Triple Sec.
Blend with Crushed Ice
Pour 1/2 of the mixture down the bathroom sink. Let Sit for 1/2 hour before using the water.
Consume the other 1/2 of the mixture in less then 10 minutes.
If the sink still stinks you "wont" care!
Repeat Process! Kevin J. Devine Reply 5th Jul 2006
Caution QZNAZ SANITY WARNING - Believing people like Mr Devine can be seriously bad for your health
Note that there is a more serious answer somewhere on the site -- Stinky Sink
Q: Cats digging up the garden I have a serious problem with cats digging huge holes in garden beds, I have tried all the usual commercial products (which work in the short term) but am now at a loss as to what to do - any suggestions -- Reply (Ref:0205)
A: Cats Digging Up the Garden. Here is a great idea. take the spade off the cat regards -- Pete Comment
Q: Body Oil Stains. My husband has a very oily body. Our sheets on his side of the bed always end up looking dingy and dirty. I have tried bleach on the white sheets, but it takes a couple washings get it clean. I have a harder time with my prints and colored sheets and pillowcases. Please, does anyone have a solution for me. Thanks -- Betty Reply (Ref:0511)
Q: Body Oil Stains. Did you ever come up with a solution for your husband staining your sheets? My husband has the same problem. Sheets are expensive and I don't want to keep replacing them. Any ideas? -- Liz Wilson Reply
A: Change your husband! I had a similar problem with my car. The new model is much better -- Reply (The kind of comment I have come to expect from you Suze! Kindly Go Away!!!! -- Ed)
Q: Apple Computers: Why are they better for graphics and desktop publishing? At least many of the people I know use Apples. Saphira -- Reply (Ref:0894)
A: A silly question, Saphira, it is all down to the evil geniuses at Redmond in a fiendish collaboration with Intel and AMD and others.
This is how it works, on every IBM PC processor chip there is a section that stores the creative energy of every computer user. Somehow every time you sit in front of a PC the draining process begins. According to Dr Abdul Hussaini-Kropotkin of Imperial College London, the keyboard and mouse are made from a special plastic that conducts the energy out through the fingertips, up the cables and into the motherboard and from there to the microprocessor, where it builds up to a pre-determined level whereupon it is sent to Microsoft headquarters. If the computer has no modem then the creative energy is dissipated as heat which can cause problems. It is a proven fact that Intel based machines running Microsoft programs do heat up when artistic and creative people use them. It is very probable that if Leonardo da Vinci were alive today that PCs would explode within seconds of his laying hands upon them.
The perfect solution to this problem is to get yourself an Apple computer, with a nice big display. There are other short-term emergency measures that allow you to continue to use a conventional PC, however it may be that simply ceasing to use a PC is not enough and your creative energies are so depleted that only an Apple can restore your creativity. It seems that the engineers at Apple have figured out the Microsoft/Intel draining system and they have to actually developed a system that does the reverse. Although not as powerful as the Microsoft system it actually permits the keys on the keyboard to exude an energy or force that restores and increases the energies that are vital to the creative processes.
I mentioned that there are short term measures that one can take to stop the dreadful mind numbing effect of using non-Apple computers and prevent Bill Gates and Steve Balmer from performing their Dracula-like predation. One can use voice recognition software or an infra-red or radio based keyboard and mouse, the latter solution works as it appears that wires are needed to carry the energy up in to the computer itself.
My sister Elspeth was the first in our family to figure out why we are all more productive when using the correct brand of computer so thanks to Elsie and of course Dr AHK -- Axel J Klystyron Cowdenbeath Scotland
Q: Black Walnut Sap Stains. What can I use to remove black walnut sap stains from my hands? HELP -- Betty McAndrew Reply 10/10/09
A: Walnut Stain. - Cow's urine works exceptionally good -- BGersba Comment
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