Bad Verse

Quotes 1
Quotes 2

Food that Bites
Facts - Perhaps?
Robbie Burns
Scottishy Things
Words can be Cool

Computer Humor
Men versus Women
More Men versus Women
Even More Men versus Women
Corny Jokes
Lawyer Jokes
Those Scotsmen
Murphy Strikes Again
Are You a Glaswegian
Humor 1
Humor 2

Humor 3

Humor 4

Humor 5

Humor 6

Humor 7

Humor 8




A Story of Alien Abduction...

Ladies and Gentlemen, first let me apologise for my lateness.

This time it is not one of the usual tales of being tied down, probed and abused by little grey, orange or silver men. My off-world experiences were considerably less unpleasant and I was returned with quite a warm feeling to this wonderful planet. In truth my trip was not so much an abduction as a VIP excursion.

My experiences were stimulating and exciting and combined the best aspects of a cruise, a white-knuckle ride and a study trip. The planet that I visited was one of fascinating diversity including, in places extreme sophistication

The denizens of the planet were almost human sized and had many similar characteristics, however it is somewhat disconcerting to have your companions alternately hopping and shuffling along-side you

Their award ceremony was well attended and quite amazing; there was another off world humanoid who actually gave a little speech in the local "tongue", Being ignorant of any extraterrestrial languages I spoke in my accented English. The thank-you speech must have been well translated as it was well received and given quite a noisy and lengthy applause. There was a selection of prizes and the award that I chose was a beautifully replica of an example of their prehistoric pottery.

The hospitality and friendship that I was shown was almost overwhelming and during my stay I was shown many astonishing and wonderful sights by my hosts.

The only negative aspect, if it can be so regarded, was that my hosts were so hospitable and the entertainment and feasting so enjoyable that I found it difficult to tear myself away and persuade my abductors to return me to Earth. "So that, Eminent Ladies and Gentlemen is the main reason why I am slightly late, flustered and dishevelled on this thrilling occasion.

To be given another award so soon after I received the last one is a first for me but an exceedingly pleasant one. It is indeed the highest point in my life to qualify for this prize. In my wildest dreams I would never have believed that I would have been a recipient of the Lynton Blair prize at the 'The International Tall Story Society award ceremony, again I apologize for my lateness". -- Anon