Have a Laugh
The
next time you get a call from a blocked or unknown number, answer it
and whisper... 'It's done, but there's blood everywhere!' Then hang
up." - Unknown
A Roman Catholic priest, a
Protestant minister and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students
of a northern University.
They would get together two or
three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made
the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real
challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and
they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods,
find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they're all
together to discuss their experiences. Father Flannery, who has his arm
in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first.
"Well," he says, "I went into
the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to
him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me
and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water,
sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb.
The bishop is coming out next week to give him his first Holy Communion
and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next.
He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV
drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL
brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a
bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But
that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we
began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN
another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED
his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb.
We spent the rest of the week in Fellowship, feasting on God's Holy
Word, and praising Jesus."
They both looked down at the
rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and
traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in
bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it,
circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
A
Silly, Silly Tip!! Save on the high cost of hardback
books by soaking paperbacks in water overnight then placing them in
your freezer for a few hours -- Gerard Boden
This one was
in the misc. section of the site but belongs here! Ed.
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"Humanity
has many enemies. The worst of them are ignorance, arrogance,
extremism, and violence" - Abbas Kadhim