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Barking Dogs

Barking Dogs at night

Hey! Everyone has had malicious thoughts about barking dogs at night and their owners. How many of us have called next door neighbors to complain about Fido's nocturnal noises? Most I would suspect. If your neighbors are like mine they couldn't care less. Of course, this magnifies the irritation. Below is an humane solution to the problem.

Take care to judge the size of the offending animal. The suggestions below relate to a dog the size of a Beagle. Here follows, the formula:

Take an accurate 1/6 of a dose of chocolate Ex-lax, wrap it in a small ball of ground beef and feed it to the offending canine beastie. Shortly the problem will cease.

THEORY ELUCIDATED Barking requires the ability to concentrate considerable pressure in the abdominal region. This is implicit upon the maintenance of pressure with all sphincter muscles. Frankly speaking Ex-Lax significantly reduces the integrity of the anal sphincter thereby dramatically reducing the animal's ability to sound because of the simultaneous loss of pressure due to involuntary excretion. -- Bill Mac   8 Dec 2002

Response: Bad Tips. I'm writing you to inform you that giving ex-lax to a dog could result in the fatality of the animal since chocolate is poisonous to dogs. - TW 12/06/09

Disclaimer: TheTipsBank does not actually recommend any of the tips and suggestions found on this website. This does not mean that we do not occasionally laugh our socks off at some off the submissions!!

Barking Dogs at Night Recently I heard of a way to stop those dogs who are barking at night ... and it's not dangerous to the animal. (You just have to be dressed and ready to go out to do something about it. Usually the dogs are barking after the person being annoyed is already in bed.) I saw this on a Japanese TV program, with instructions by dog trainers who made house calls to help people know how to control their dogs better.

Fill a spray bottle with 1 part vinegar to 1 part water (for example, 1/4 cup vinegar and 1/4 cup water). When the dog starts barking, simply spray the vinegar water in the direction of the dog ... not in it's face. The smell will cause the dog to have to breathe in more deeply, and it only takes a couple of times to train the dog to stop barking. This works best if the owner of the dog uses this method, as the dog would normally bark more at strangers.

House dogs that barked every time the doorbell rang were trained to stop barking in less than 5 minutes - and it worked there after, too. They would ring the bell - the dog would bark, the owner would spray once in the air above the dog's head, and the dog immediately stopped barking ... without the owner having to say a word! They waited a few minutes, and repeated the process. The third time they rang the bell (a few minutes after the second time), the dog did not bark.

By the way - I REALLY like your site!!! -- "Cathy" Cathy Garrott, Nagasaki, JAPAN
7 May 2003

Barking Dogs at night -- Additional Notes -- A Defense   I bet the vinegar spray is a good solution. However it is a shock to  the dog just as involuntary excretion is a shock as well. I don't see one as  being more humane than the other. I will admit the commentator's argument as presented may be a small bit less traumatic only because of duration.

I challenge this interested party to trespass and spray a vinegar  solution on a neighbor's dogs in the kennel clearly located on private property during nocturnal hours. Whereas my method can be delivered by slingshot  (for a short distance of course) especially if it is bound by some kind of non-toxic paper tape. The one time I tried to deliver the package using  a crossbow there was an unfortunate outcome. Although the canine beastie lived it now goes into attack mode when it sees anyone with a crossbow.  Perhaps I should have my trifocal glasses checked. I used to be a good shot.  (grin) and no, I didn't actually shoot the beastie, I just scared the SXXX out  of it.

In response those interested in a practical and universal solution to  the problem of barking canine beasties residing on another person's  property might reduce the cited dose by 50% if they fear the proved recipe is  cruel. However, I argue that all animals must excrete, sometimes we do it  better than other times. Even we humans on occasion need some assistance to  get the job done. So therefore I argue, and I believe quite convincingly and logically and reasonably as well, assisting a canine beastie in this enterprise can be an educational, relieving and silencing experience.

Truly, a beastie so trained will not have the added stress of being  yelled at or having rude thing thrown at it by sleep deprived, crazed  neighbors. You see, bricks can do real fundamental harm and I am certainly against harming any pet or captive animal.

With sincere personal regards I am, W. B. "Bill" McCaslin 

Barking Dogs. My friend found a way to stop a dog from barking in the middle of the night. She got up, got dressed, and walked the neighborhood until she found the barking dog. Every time the dog barked she rang the doorbell. She said if she had to be up, so should the owners! After a few times of ringing the doorbell she heard the backdoor shut and no more barking  dog. She said they never came to the front door to answer the doorbell. Gotta laugh but it worked! -- Dummybear

More interesting articles by by Bill McCaslin:-

Ensuring the disabled have power
Mild payback for the nasty ones
Don't let Spyware ruin your day
Setting up a home workshop
How to really use the magic metal

 

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